Cheese in the Darkness Podcast Episode

Here, at the end of the year (or the first of the new year, depending on when you read this), I'm linking this special podcast episode about “the darkness.” It's something I've posted to finish out a season of podcasting, but also, given that New Year’s Day is the 10th anniversary of the loss of our daughter, I’m posting it to finish out a whole long season of my life.

I’ve had much to carry during the darkness of this season of life, but in this episode, I talk about three responses I've been working through (and I think others are working through).

1 - The first response is to give up hope that I'll ever see light again. (Atheism)
2 - The second goes in the opposite direction as it doubles down on all the old ways I used to gain light. (Hyper-theism)
3 - The third response is to transcend and include the first two in order to get to something healthier; something that lets old things die even as it allows new things to birth. Strangely, as I've made my way into this third response, the lights haven’t been turned on, as much as, well, my eyes have adjusted. And now? The darkness itself has become luminous.

All of it has given a whole new meaning to scriptures such as Psalm 139, "the darkness has become light," and Matthew's "the people living in darkness have seen a great light," and Psalms 18:11, "He made darkness his secret place."

In my case, as in the passages referenced above, the darkness hasn’t been an un-Christlike, morally-negative space brought about by reprobate behavior. Not that I’m above reprobate behavior, but the point is no; that kind of thinking can be chalked up to confusion around causes and corellations.

Look, even the best of people can go through very, very difficult times, and the wild thing is, contrary to popular religious opinion, the presence of Christ is as substantive in the dark as it is in the light. In some ways, maybe more, for surely Christ himself experienced the darkness as he died crying out “My God, why have you forsaken me?” And if Christ is here, I’m okay with being here, too. Haha, I wouldn’t have chosen it, but I’m good.

Crazy as it might sound, Christianity means more to me now than ever. Though I’m quick to add that I’m not talking about cultural, political, or an Americanized Christianity that is so prevalent in our world; rather, something deeper, more substantive, flexible, engaging, and robust. It’s not turned on the lights or drug me out into the light … as much as it’s helping me be the light.

Hear me talk about all this here.

Meanwhile, it’s the end of the year, which means some of you may need to find a nonprofit to support. Well, you’re in luck. Check out all the cool things happening at Love Haiti. We’d be honored for you to plug in and help.

All my best,
J